So you were born in England and grew up here, but one of your parents is Irish. You probably didn’t realise until you left home just how different all the small things are. Any of these ring a bell?
1. Every time you left the house, your mum doused you with holy water from Lourdes or Knock. She hadn’t even been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
2. When you visit someone’s house and they haven’t offered you a cup of tea and something to eat within the first ten minutes, you start to think there is something wrong with them and question why you are visiting them in the first place. Mean bastards.
3. You had no idea what pasta was until you were at least fifteen years old.
4. More is always merrier.
5. There is no such thing as not enough room for family to stay. If there’s a floor, there’s room to sleep. (This doesn’t work so well when your other parent is English and wonders why their house has been invaded).
6. You can have an Irish passport, and nobody hates the Irish anymore.
7. You confuse the hell out of council officials when you want to get married abroad to a UK citizen. Technically, you are a foreigner in the country you were born in and have citizenship for, so different rules apply.
8. Wasting food is a sin.
9. There is no such thing as a natural ‘pause’ in conversation. Waiting for one so you can end your phone call will only cause you to go way over your monthly minutes allowance.
10. You have to train your parents not to have a fit if you don’t reply to their text message within four hours.
11. You cannot believe that some people have fewer than one hundred first cousins. Not only that, they have actually met all of their relatives.
12. You knew who Daniel O’ Donnell was before he was on Strictly Come Dancing.
13. You’re always up for good craic.